Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
