I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
