I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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