FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize