Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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