i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize