you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
