Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
