the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
