My nipple is on Facebook.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
