My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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