For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
smell my finger.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
