Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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