fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
