puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
