blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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