I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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