can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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