I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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