And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
