I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
