he was CRYING into my vagina
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
