Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
