HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
