So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
