I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I lost the right to judge tonight
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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