9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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