oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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