We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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