do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
