He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
