so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
