She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
