im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just gift wrapped bread.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
