I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize