ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
