just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
