yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
