ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
