I have demons in me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Congratulations! We have a period
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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