You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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