just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
