Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
