We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
