This girl is more easily done than said...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
