Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's never too late to be topless.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
