Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
