get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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