im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Dear god my vagina.
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