Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
