obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
