It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
