How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
