I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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