His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
