He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
