There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
