sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
