No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
