the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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