You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
