He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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