also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
