haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
