i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
