someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
