she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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