therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
