Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize