its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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