So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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