WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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