I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
