i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
